The Momma Clan

One must understand whether, “What is Love???” can be a question which can be answered?

For if it is a question then the answer should be there. If the same answer is there, where is it? The question is ancient and an answer should have been found now! If the answer had been found, the question would have disappeared.

But the question still remains! Meaning the answer has not been found. If it has not been yet, then what is certainly then it will be found. May be the mind can never find the answer! A single answer which will please all minds is not possible for each mind. Each mind has its own ideas of love. Hence the universal answer is illusion.

Some say it’s mysterious, magical, complex, difficult, imaginary, thought-provoking, inspirational, intuitional, joyous, immeasurable, ecstasy and indefinable.

Love is like a mountain, hard to climb,

But once you get to the top

The view is beautiful.

The word love has a variety of meanings in different contexts. In many other languages multiple words are used to express love to others. There are many types of love: they are affection, bonding, broken heart, compassionate love, falling in love, free love, friendship love, love at first sight, loving-kindness, animal love, relationship love, self love, unconditional love, romantic love, deep friendship love, long standing love and love for the self. This is the kind of love experienced by everyone.

 Love isn’t a seasonal or one-time thing. Whether it’s coupling up on dating apps or snuggling with your favorite people, love is the common connector of humans. Around Valentine’s Day, the stores are flush with heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, bouquets of colorful roses and every size of teddy bear imaginable. Wedding season is year-round in most parts of the world these days, and love is constantly on the brain. Whether it’s the love of your spouse, children, parents, friends or some good old-fashioned self-love- that amazing emotion is everywhere.

But can you really put all different types of love out there into one box? The answer is no. Not at all. We would be crazy to limit the lotion of love to one generic box.

There are seemingly endless feelings that are conveyed by that one, simple word. For example-

· You can love a significant other until your cheeks turn pink and you feel your heart swell in your chest.

· You can love a child until it physically hurts because they’re like an extension of you. Your heart is walking outside of your body.

· When you’re feeling sad and your closest friends show up at your door with wine and flowers, that love too!

· When you take a bubble bath and slap on a face mask after a long day because you know you deserve it, you bet your butt that’s love (self-love) right here.

There are so many different kinds of love. Some are really important. We all know to understand that why they are important:-

1)   FAMILIAL LOVE

Do you remember when your first love came and whom it came from? Your first girlfriend or boyfriend? Your best friend? Nope! Your first love came from your parents or family members. The love you receive from your parents or mother is the type of unconditional love that seeks nothing.

Do you remember the time- when you asked thousands of questions to your mother during the toddler stage, when you cuddled with your parents, when you played with your siblings in the backyard or when your grandmother cooked everything you loved? These are the memories that are cherished in every stage of life. But, my dear friend, this is what familial love is called! This is why family is important in our life. They actually know who to care for and how to make others feel safe. If you are someone who cares for other people and their needs, you are likely responsive and receive familial love. Familial love is the type of positivity that helps in forming positive attachments, improves our social functioning and improves our overall well-being.

2)   ROMANTIC LOVE

For some, it may be going on dates or receiving flowers; for others, it may be caring for their health; and for others, it may be writing poems or telling daily stories and having meaningful conversations.

Sometimes, being romantic is simply about being highly present, warm and affectionate with your partner in the day-to-day moment. Whatever it may be for you, romance is formed from the nice things and gestures you do for your partner and it might be different for each couple.

Romantic love is not an emotion of love but a sense of being loved, cared for and protected. Romance brings life to a healthy relationship. It adds a little pep and excitement to any day and it creates an emotional connection between the partners that cannot be replicated by anything else. And because it is the heart of a relationship, it’s a great thing to bring back into your life if it’s lost a way, too.

By having a loving, caring and sweet connection, you will not only be happier, but your mental health will improve and you will have less conflict and drama.

3)   AFFECTIONATE LOVE (PLATONIC LOVE)

We often think of affection as the short of love we show in romantic relationships. But affection is more than holding hands and kissing. It’s about communicating love and appreciation. It is a kind of love that you feel for your friends. It represented love between people who considered themselves equal. There is trust, ease, respect and deep care between the people experiencing it.

There are many ways you can show platonic love to your friends: – Tell them how much they mean to you. Tell them when you think of them in passing. Remind them you are grateful to know them. These simple acts provide a layer of security in relationships. It shows your friends that you genuinely care for them and lets them know it’s safe to invest in your friendship. Being generous with your friends- sharing your time, attention or resources with them is an easy way to nurture your friendship. It’s an expression of love that shows you want to invest more in the relationship.

4)   LOVE  FOR YOURSELF

If you look around, you will notice how people are building walls, as many as possible so they can feel safe, so they can feel secure to protect themselves from the outside world and the danger that it represents for them. I like to think that people are good, that we are all good deep down inside, and that may be, because of some past and unpleasant events, because of some misfortunes, because they have been hurt and injured emotionally in the past, they are wearing all kind of masks, in order to protect themselves from being hurt again.

When you start protecting yourself from the outside world too long, when you decide start protecting yourself from environment, you will eventually be cut off from it, you will eventually be cut off from the world, and of course you will be left behind, feeling lost and lonely, not understanding how you got where you are now. For some people it seems quite hard to understand that it’s not so much about what happens to them that is causing so much pain, but rather they choose to process all of these events and information. It’s all about how we perceive them all, and how we choose to think about them, because you see, we first experience the thought and then the feeling, and if we insist on thinking about how bad we’ve been treated by X or Y person, how they made us feel, how much pain they brought upon us, and how we get even, we feel horrible for as long as we shall live.

So what if you have been hurt by other people in the past, so what if there is anger, hate and bitterness in the world? Would you rather focus on the ugly and negative than on the beautiful and positive? Aren’t you tired of wearing a shield against the world? Don’t you miss the real you? Take a look at yourself in the mirror and see if you recognize yourself. Would you rather pretend to be something that you’re not feeling nothing at all, or would you rather let your guard down in order to be discovered? Allow yourself to be loved again, allow yourself to be vulnerable and allow yourself to experience to live fully.

See yourself for who, and what you really are; see yourself as the beautiful and powerful man/ woman you are and embrace the real you. Open your heart and let your own light shine. Love with all your heart, without thinking whether you will be loved back or not. Learn from your mistakes, let yourself be vulnerable, allow people to know and love the real you. Give up the need to protect yourself from the pain and suffering that others could cause you.

Love, laugh, dance and play. Do all those things that make you happy and don’t let some past events keep you in a dark and unhappy place. Be true to yourself. Get out of your self-made prison, give up your shields, give up your masks and decide that it is time for you to start living again. It’s time for you to go back to being brave and confident. It’s time for you to allow the world to see how powerful and how loving you really are. No more protection from the outside world. Embrace what is, don’t resist it, don’t fight against it, don’t hide from it and just allow it to be, knowing that pain is temporary, while love is forever. Just be.

5)   UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TO ALL

It is a selfless and universal love that sees all of humanity as worthy of love, even in the face of difficulty, struggle and unwanted behaviors. This type of love seeks to forgive and accept and forms the basis of many spiritual traditions and practices. It is considered the highest form of love and the most difficult to cultivate and maintain.

A lot of people consider it to be a kind of spiritual love and it’s expressed through meditation, nature, intuition and spirituality.

FINAL NOTE

Take a second to consider the relationships in your life. From friends to family to couples to our favorite vacation spot, our lives are saturated with many different kinds of love.

Love is a beautiful thing because it is a lot like beauty itself. It is that unspeakable connection to certain people or things for unexplainable reasons. It is very abstract, hard to describe and is something that everyone defines differently and applies to many different types of things. It heightens our emotions and makes us feel truly alive. People will never lose their fascination with it, because it is inside us all to feel it, to share it, to let it fill our lives.

-DR.BHAVANA JAIN