The Momma Clan

The leaves glistened in the morning sun’s rays, and the stretch of the vast blue sky looked clear and beautiful; there was a slight nip in the air, the chirping of birds and the fragrance of blooming winter flowers made everything feel delightful. The park is unusually crowded today; I see couples walking, their children running along, while some on bicycles giggle and paddle around in amusement. “Happy family”, I smile and wonder. 

 Every morning I sit on my recliner watching the park and the people; I sip my cup of coffee and wander in the trail of thoughts that cloud my mind. Sometimes I remain entangled in those thousand memories that I had; some are soothing, and some leave me in a clutter of confusion. I don’t have a definite answer to some questions that wriggle on the surface of my mind; I seek them with an indefinite assurance and a bleak hope that things may change. 

 Happiness resides in a utopian world, something I craved all my life and have never reached. I live a lonely life on an island surrounded by the ocean and what I see around me is a semblance of truth. Love is the veneer that people hide beneath and live an unreal life. They are fools who believe love is true; in reality, our selfish wishes and desires drive us. We are all for ourselves! It took me a long time to realise and accept this fact. 

 Love!  This very word had enamoured me once when I considered it my possession. I was obsessed and dived deep into the ocean of love. She meant the world to me. I loved her with all my heart; she was my life. We married and started a new world of our own, a happy family; I catered to all her desires and supported her dreams. Her smile should never fade, and her eyes should never tear; I earnestly desired. Love blindfolded my eyes, and all I saw was her. She was my only happiness; everything else was trivial. I loved her to the extent that I endured her misbehaviour and harsh derogatory words for me. I longed and waited for the day when I would see the reciprocation of my love in her eyes.

 The day never came. All I received was apathy. Ugly fights filled our days; nothing between us was seemingly possible. My heart was breaking seeing the downfall of my happy life, and I stood witheringly against all. Do you know why? Because I loved her. Perhaps life would have continued in the same wretched way until I met with a fatal accident. It turned my life and my destiny. I was grievously injured and lay in the hospital for days fighting the battle between life and death. By God’s grace, I survived. 

The world rejoiced, but I could not find a speck of happiness on her face. For her, I had turned into a useless moron, meant to live a miserable life. What happiness can I give her with a heart that only resounded pure love and life in a wheelchair? That night, I writhed in pain, watching her walk away, leaving me in a broken state. I mended my broken self and learnt the lesson of my life. I grew in might and strength. I owe this strength to the wretchedness she had gifted me in return for my true love. I lead a blissful life; my one true happiness is me, only me.  

A work of fiction by –Nibedita