Feeling grateful and counting one’s blessings is a scarce value in general. 🤷♀️ There are exceptions, but this is an unfortunate reality.
My biggest achievement in life is who I raised: my one and only Mugil Vanjinath. It is said that Diamonds are forever. My diamond has been with me, all of 25 years; proud of you ♥️, my beloved handsome son. God bless 🙌 you abundantly always, dear ❤️. Character is the crowning glory of life. Being a good human being—responsible, reliable, and trustworthy—is quite a challenge these days.
25 years ago, on a hot March 28 night, the light of my life, our precious bundle of joy, Mugil Vanjinath came into our lives. The journey so far has been eventful in so many ways big and small, bound by beautiful precious memories and moments. I loved you kicking and moving in my womb. It was an amazing and blessed experience. Precious 9 months from July 8, 1999 (last menstrual period) till you arrived at 10.13pm on March 28, 2000, by cesarean section. That was a tension-filled time, as my son had a minor health scare breathing and doctors were saying a lot of things including transfer to a major hospital. Thankfully, by God’s grace, a crisis was averted, but there were different storms amidst choppy waters at home.
Words can’t express the myriad emotions I went through—anxiety, joy, fear, gratitude, and protective instincts—during my pregnancy, when I used to travel to work in Thiruporur, Chengalpattu district, about 50 km from Chennai. We had financial setbacks, so it was pretty tough and challenging to balance it all, pay the bills, and more, without much support. Somehow we managed, by Divine help in different ways, I’d like to believe. Counting our blessings, taking each day as it came, and when our son came, I guess we truly understood the meaning of creation: we created you, a unique human being, and we nurtured and nourished you through all those tough times to the best of our abilities.
Motherhood was an option I chose over a career at that time. I’m a Doctoral degree holder (PhD) in Sociology and a person with a hearing impairment and verbal. I do not sign. This is my journey so far.
Growing up in a middle-class family with achievers as siblings was a mixed bag of experiences and expectations. My parents were central government employees. Luxury wasn’t what we aimed for but comfort, being together as a family, stability, and security were all woven in myriad ways by our parents during our childhood. The values of loyalty, responsibility, and self-respect were nurtured in us by their example in relationships at home and at work.
Being hearing impaired was a challenge at a time when there was limited awareness, let alone options and opportunities.
My getting a PhD, the highest level of academic excellence, was not an easy one, nor was it really understood either. I’m proud of that even more because I’m the only girl in the family to do that. I know too my parents, whose unstinting support and encouragement helped me to evolve and be independent through the entire research process. They would proudly introduce me to friends or newcomers as our daughter, “Dr V Janaki, she has a PhD in Sociology.”
Marriage is a different journey for me. My husband knew about my disability because I told him openly in our first formal meeting. It has elevated my life experiences in a relationship of 2 consenting adults. That is another story, which is ongoing.
Motherhood totally swamped me in diverse ways. It’s like I’ve always been a mother and was born to be one too!!!
I’ve enjoyed the journey of my son’s growing years, the pleasures and the pains. the highs and lows too. The joy I still get is unmatched if I’m being truly honest. Watching my son’s journey and transformation from a young child to young man, achieving so much; doing things as per his beliefs; being felicitated on different platforms; mentoring and guiding young school and college students; and so much more. His smile lights up my world, and it says everything.
I’ve often been told that I have wasted my education by friends and family too, sacrificing much. I do not think that way. For a hearing-impaired lady who can verbalize her feelings and thoughts, parenting isn’t an easy task in this tech-driven world of instant gratification. I am not answerable to anyone. I embraced motherhood wholeheartedly; it wasn’t a question of choosing either for me personally.
Watching and seeing a baby one created with love, nurturing the child through the topsy-turvy world of childhood, school, peer pressure, and more was an endless source of joy and fascination for a person who is research-oriented and analytical. The responsibility and care that one needs to imbibe and transmit to a growing child is intrinsic in parenting; communicating these through thoughts, words and actions is equally important and an ongoing process regardless of the age, gender, or abilities of the child. In a way, my exposure during my academic learning phase did help me, albeit unconsciously.
At the end of the day, each one of us is UNIQUE. RESPECTING THEM FOR THAT IS IMPORTANT. ACCEPTING AND ACKNOWLEDGING THE DIFFERENCES TOO IS NECESSARY. THE POWER OF WORDS SAID OR UNSAID IS SOMETHING IVE TRIED TO INSTILL IN MY SON, WHICH HE IS VERY MINDFUL TOO.
Motherhood has helped me evolve as a person. I’m able to understand the challenges that my own mother faced in a different era. To each their own. To live and let live, agree to disagree, not take people or situations for granted, count our blessings, and be grateful. These are pearls of wisdom shared by my late father and resonate every moment for me. As a mother, the sweetest word from my son that brings a smile is the word “AMMA.”
My journey continues… in my 56th year!
The Momma Clan 
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