There are times when I feel envious of others, especially when I see them happy while I’m struggling to find my own happiness. I know it’s normal to feel this way; after all, I’m human, and emotions like envy and sadness are natural responses. I don’t want advice or suggestions on how I should feel, because only I can truly understand my own emotions and what I’m going through.
People often try to empathize or offer solutions without fully understanding, but that usually feels superficial and unhelpful. So, without fully grasping my experience, I would prefer people avoid giving me advice that feels dismissive or misplaced. When I see others enjoying life and being carefree, it does trigger envy within me, as I can’t seem to achieve that same sense of happiness, no matter how hard I try.
I’ve even stopped looking at WhatsApp status updates or scrolling through social media feeds because they’re filled with smiling faces and happy moments that I can’t relate to. The more I see these cheerful images and carefree laughter, the emptier I feel. Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder if some of those people are even truly happy or if they’re just putting on a show for the camera. It seems unfair that even people who might be struggling internally can at least put on a smile, while I find it difficult to mask my sadness.
I often feel that I’m missing something crucial in my life. I see others who have friends, partners, or close family members who genuinely care about them. Meanwhile, I feel like I’m just a lonely soul, wandering through life without anyone who truly understands or cares about me in a meaningful way. This loneliness feeds my envy, as I wish I could have someone to connect with on a deep level. In this busy, fast-paced world, why am I left feeling like a stray, unnoticed and unappreciated?
What’s more frustrating is seeing people who don’t seem to deserve their success or happiness. There are those who cheat or manipulate others, yet they appear to be rewarded for it, living comfortably or even luxuriously. Meanwhile, I’m working hard, trying to stay on an honest path, yet I feel stuck, unable to reach the success or satisfaction that they seem to enjoy effortlessly. It’s disheartening.
I’ve had jobs where I gave my all, and I’d see others who barely did their part yet managed to thrive in those environments. They would complain about management behind closed doors, yet greet the same people with fake smiles and flattering words. Meanwhile, I would be myself, treating others respectfully but not putting on an act. Yet somehow, I’m the one who struggled to keep up, eventually leaving jobs because of overwhelming stress. It feels unfair, and I can’t help but feel envious of those who thrive by pretending.
My envy isn’t necessarily because I want to be exactly where they are. It’s because I believe I’m a good person who is struggling, while those who take shortcuts or act insincerely seem to succeed. It makes me question the fairness of it all. Are people rewarded simply for playing a role, regardless of their sincerity or integrity?
There are times when I find myself working harder than ever, yet the rewards just don’t seem to match my efforts. Then I look around and see people who barely work yet seem to attract success. It’s disillusioning, and I wonder, “Is there really a higher power watching over us?” If there is a god, is this god truly fair? Why does it feel like I am constantly facing challenges while others, often less deserving, seem to breeze through life?
I know that feeling envious isn’t a good thing, and sometimes, I even feel guilty or embarrassed for feeling this way. Writing these thoughts down brings mixed emotions, as part of me thinks it’s wrong to harbor envy. It makes me feel foolish and self-critical. But at the same time, I realize that keeping these feelings bottled up isn’t healthy either. Talking about envy, even admitting it to myself, gives a small sense of relief.
I’m aware that I’m not alone in these feelings; many people experience envy or frustration, even if they don’t openly admit it. This isn’t just a story of one person; it’s a story filled with genuine feelings that others might relate to. Maybe we’d all feel a little lighter if we could be open about these emotions without fear of judgment.
It’s okay to let out our feelings of envy, loneliness, or frustration; it’s part of being human. We don’t need to hold it all inside. Sharing, even if only through writing, allows us to confront our emotions. We should be courageous enough to admit to ourselves when we’re struggling, because facing our feelings is far more worthwhile than hiding behind a facade.
The Momma Clan 
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