I hope this letter finds you happy and cheerful.
I do not know where to begin. Shall I start from where it ended? Shall I say it never ended? You would believe me if I said so. Or, you consider me a fake, manipulative, selfish being who fled away without giving you closure. Maybe I was a coward who did not stand the test of time beside you with firmness when you needed me the most. Accuse me however you want to, but the fact remains unchanged that I loved you earnestly.
Life is riding on wheels, racing to reach goalposts, crossing uneven routes. Sometimes, we determine the goals and chart the path meticulously. Other times, life happens without navigating finite, predetermined towpaths. Like a river, we meander across unknown valleys, barren patches of land, meadows, and suburbs to meet the ocean.
Years have sunk into our relationship, and we swaddled, wetting our feet in the waves of love before we fell apart. We broke and emerged mightier than before.
Didn’t we love watching the setting sun on the horizon? The smell of the sea floated in the air, and the music of the roaring waves caressed our blossoming love. Our feet dug deep into the gravel of sand while our hearts melted, beating in unison.
The sea reminds me of you. The purple hues of the twilight sky remind me of you. The wafting air and the frothy bubbles of salty water remind me of you.
Now, when no name defines our bond, I still caress the silhouette of memories etched on the wet sand, and the ebbing tides have washed the shore. The faint, faded remains still color the golden sand in the shade of pure love. I wallow in the memories until they evanesce, dim with the glowing light. The moisture in the wind wets my eyes. I squint, holding back the tears, but they flow ceaselessly like the surging waves in the deep blue ocean.
I wish your image reflected in my tears, smiling back at me or scorning me for my deeds, my behavior. How mean I was to you?
You were resentful, bitter, angry with me. A natural human phenomenon! Separation and the emptiness engulfing the core of a loving relationship can make you one until the balm of time heals your soul. Love replaces the void. I hope you have found the love you truly deserve. Something that I failed to fill, the picture remained colorless, unfilled.
I wish you all the happiness, dear Steve, even when I felt misunderstood. Even when what I wanted to convey was a distant cry, even when I tried to connect and mumbled unclear words, fearing you would be hurt again.
The day you had come to ask me myriad questions, the answers I did not have. You kept banging and stomping behind the closed door, seeking a retort. You writhed in pain. I felt numb, the pain coursing through my veins. I stood motionless till you left. Your words shattered my heart, the fragments, the wound resurface sometimes, some lone moment.
Love is holding on to infinite moments woven together, to the magic of togetherness leading you down an unknown path. You felt.
Love is also about letting go. Love is wishing and praying for the happiness of the loved one. Even when distances separate them, and misunderstandings create unbridgeable rifts. That’s what I believe.
Between holding on and letting go, many years have passed. There are days when I feel the pangs of pain of losing you. It would be a lie if I said I have forgotten you. You know I can never.
I wish you health and happiness and pray God showers you with strength, warmth, and abundant love.
Warm wishes,
Stella
The Momma Clan 
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