Pic Courtesy: Google
A thought provoking tale of an ill-fated death due to gender stereotype. Must read by Rekha Mittal Gupta
Pic Courtesy: Google

Clenching the white dress in her hands, Palki was wailing inconsolably sitting in front of her now lifeless son – Kushal.

He was the apple of the eye of his tauji, taiji, two cousin sisters, Papa, and mummy.

He was the star of their family.

He was the smile of their countenance.

He was the light in the darkness.

He was their sunshine.

Who was liable for his untimely demise?

The first time he went shopping for his toys, he asked for a kitchen set. His parents didn’t want to gender stereotype the toy and bought him one. Were they not supportive?? They indeed were.

When he asked his parents to allow him to grow hair like girls, they warned him that his teacher would scold him. He reciprocated by saying that he would make ponytails like girls and then nobody would say anything. They just laughed and agreed. Were they not supportive? They indeed were.

When after two days, he reluctantly got his hair cut, his parents just smiled. They didn’t ask him the reason, they didn’t pat his back, they didn’t console him, and they didn’t try to find how he felt. Were they wrong? They indeed were.

He learnt embroidery, knitting, and cooking. Nobody said anything because they didn’t want to gender stereotype any work. Were they supportive? They indeed were.

When he confided in his mom that he didn’t like his penis,  that it irritated him, she just smiled and told him that it was his body part and he needed to accept it. She didn’t try to explore him further, she didn’t try to talk to him, she didn’t ask him the reasons. Was she wrong? She indeed was.

Once, when his uncle aunt and cousins had gone on vacation and his parents had gone out for some work, he wore a white frock, pink sandals, and used hair extension for long hair. He put on slight make-up. He glanced at himself in the mirror and was adoring himself when his parents came in.

Without feeling hesitant, he excitedly said, “Look mama, I look so pretty. I want to be a girl.”

His parent’s eyes popped out of their sockets. Shocked, his dad hit him hard and commanded him to change his dress and wash his face.

When he went crying from there, his dad told Palki, “Bhai sahib and I stay at shop all day. He is growing up among females, that’s why he is becoming like this. I will get his admission done in a boy’s hostel. Among boys, he will grow up to be a perfect man.”

He cried & he pleaded, he said, “Boys pester me here also, but that’s just for six hours. How will I tolerate their mocking all day long at a hostel? Don’t send me. They will not let me survive

His parents didn’t give heed to his words and sent him. Did they do right? No, they didn’t.

Unable to endure the mocking and the abuses, he jumped to his death – a tragic death.

Now, what was the use of moaning and screaming? It’s seriously no use crying over spilled milk.

What does a child need? His parent’s unconditional support and ears to listen.

Is it his fault if a child is naturally transgender? Is it his fault if despite being he/she; he/she prefers to be of the opposite sex?

If we as parents won’t accept our kids the way they are, how can we expect society to accept them? How can we bring about the much-needed change?


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